Supreme I am Beluga and I will share why I am struggling right now. Thanks if you read this

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This is the first time that I am honest and well I will tell you to see what you think, if you have gone through something similar in general in case you want to have a while reading.
First of all thanks if you read this.
But I just want to say in spite of anybody doenst care about me, right now I am going through a very bad streak in my life that seems to have no end, it´s not depression at all or something related, it´s just like a long term sadness that has no end. I just feel bored in my life, without wanting to do anything, I am always tired even though I sleep a lot, I do not enjoy doing anything that I used to enjoy doing, I have had suicidal thoughts and I have almost done the act, but I never do. I did for my parents and my brother because it is for them that I am still here, all the times I have asked for help my friends or my family or teachers have made fun of me or have laughed. I have lost all the friends I had and not I can keep with only a few of them I do not tell them anything because I do not want anyone to worry and that is why I keep quiet when they ask me if I am okay I simply say yes and that's it I keep everything to myself, the only thing I do with my life is stay in my room all day just listening to music and doing nothing more than that
The sad reality is that in the end I do not feel anything, I am not able to know what is happening to me or to find the problem, I can not feel nothing It seems like there is an emptiness in my chest, even I try to cry but no tears drop from my eyes. I have no one and sometimes I wonder why life does this to me, I always see how everyone progresses and they find happiness well, I have no one to talk to and I have no one to talk to me, that is why I have been dragging for months this because I feel very alone without anyone only with me. I have resorted to some drug to escape from reality even for a few hours, together with sleeping is my only relief because it is the only moment of my day in which there is peace and I do not feel sad, depressed, anxious ... I'm not addicted to drugs or alcohol, I'm addicted to escaping this harsh reality
Sometimes I just need someone, just with their presence is good for me, I would love to be able to vent to someone and be able to tell them everything, with them listening to me it is worth it because there are days that is the only thing I need It seems that my thoughts only tend to the dark and bad things and I just want and wish for this to end but it seems to get worse I always wonder what I have done to deserve all this I never find an answer Sometimes I just need a hug but I have no one, I am alone, I am just empty
Thanks if you have read this

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i also feel the same way man, i hope you get bettter

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we are here for you @Beluga cute ghost

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Hope lies in dreams, in imagination, and in the courage of those who dare to make dreams into reality.

 

 

 

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you are the enlightened one

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This is called being possessed by demons. It's a spiritual sickness. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop"

It's easy to break out of it though. Two things:
1. You need to change your destructive habits and replace them with good ones
2. You need to start doing something useful (physical work)

One of the most important humans ever to be born. Watch out for me.

Double Your Money: https://shoppy.gg/@carheadz

Telegram (be careful of impersonators): jebach69

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that's called depression bro. you are living in denial. depression doesn't need a reason to happen if that's what you are thinking.