How can I improve my pitch

[437]

I'm pitching physics teachers at various schools to help me develop hologram tech. 


How's my pitch going?


Hello, pleasure to have you reading my email, I'm honored for your attention and time.




My name's Taboo I'm an ambitious optimist with a lot of free time and impatience for others to invent things for me. 



Artificial reality has been possible since its inception 1957 by Morten Heilig. It took us until 1992 with Louis Rosenberg's to make a "full functioning" AR system and up until recently to make a commercially available full functioning system as seen with the nreal light AR glasses 600$ and it can project a 220" 1080p screen enabled a whole slew of possibilities.



The amount of time this took to accomplish is astonishingly unacceptable to myself. Technological advancements be damned I think thought presses the gas peddle of innovation and without the right thought process you can't get a high speed.



Charles Darwin was once quoted saying "Even people who aren't geniuses can outthink the rest of mankind if they develop certain thinking habits" 



So, I looked to the greats, Elon Musk for example a man whom upon picking up his first book on rocket science 20 years ago has revolutionized the field and unlock interplanetary colonization as an opportunity in the process with might I add mind boggling increases in efficiency of the rockets. 



All of these advancements he accredited to the "First Principal Thought process" which as scientists I'm sure you're already familiar with.



It is my intention to engage this same thought process in varying fields of technological advancement and produce the same if not greater results.



Right now I'm looking at hologram tech, I'd like to discuss this subject and my progress on it with someone knowledgeable on the subject. 



Mahalo

*ALERT* I HAVE IMPOSTERS, CONFIRM ALL DEALS ON C.IO DM'S *ALERT*

[373]

sir. do you do a lot of drugs?

I'M NOBODY, JUST
 

 I LOVE U

[1.557]

NGL...If I was a teacher I would think your email was spam.  Just make it simple...

Hello Professor/Dr/Mr/Ms [Last Name] - I'm currently working on some hologram technology that I'm really excited about. There are some things I'm unsure of, and am therefore seeking advise from experts in your field. If you have the time and would be able to assist, I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss with you in more detail.

Thanks,
[Your Name]

[6.591]

First you were Vet now you want to be Teacher

What a legend u are Pedo 

Nice drugs

[4.915]

friendly bump :)

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[6.591]

[463]

If this is a serious pitch, you need an editor because there is trouble with your grammar.  No offence.   Maybe run it through Grammarly if you can.