The Letters I Never Read

[1.386]

I cut off my twin sister at 29 after catching her kiss my fiancé. Ten years of hate later, she died in a car crash. I didn't even want to go to her funeral, mom begged me to do it.
After the ceremony, I went to her old room.

In her things, I found a paper folder with my name. I opened it, and my heart stopped.
Inside were handwritten letters. Dozens of them. All addressed to me.
Each was dated, spanning across years. The first was written just a week after I walked out of her life. I sat down on the edge of her childhood bed, the same bed we used to share when we were five and afraid of thunder. My hands trembled as l opened the first letter.

I had to stop reading. My throat clenched up, and tears threatened to fall, but I pushed through. I read on.
"I didn't kiss Thomas. He kissed me. And when I pulled away, you walked in. I know it looked bad. But you never let me explain."
That sentence alone cracked something open in me. I'd told myself I didn't care. That I had moved on. But clearly, I hadn't. My heart still ached from the betrayal I believed in for a decade.
I flipped to the next letter. This one was more frantic, messy handwriting, likely written during one of her anxiety spirals.

"You blocked my number. I emailed you. I wrote on your birthday card. You never opened anything. Lia, please. I love you. I messed up somewhere, but not like that."
The next few were quiet. Less begging, more updates about her life. How she'd finally gotten promoted at her job. How mom's health was scaring her. How she missed me every day.
One letter hit harder than the rest. Dated on my 35th birthday.
"I saw you today. You didn't see me. You were at the market, buying flowers. Yellow ones. You still love sunflowers, huh? I almost walked up and said hi. But your face was so peaceful. I didn't want to disturb that."
I closed the letter and stared at the wall. Why hadn't she told me in person? Why did she never fight harder to see me, to clear the air?

But deep down, I knew the answer. I made it impossible.
I'd changed my number, moved to a new city, cut off everyone who dared mention her name. I built a wall so high, she couldn't climb it.
There was one last letter in the folder, tucked away in the back. It didn't have a date.
"To be opened if I die," it said on the outside.
My fingers hesitated. Then I opened it.
"Lia, if you're reading this, I'm probably gone. I hope you came to my funeral. I hope mom got through to you. I hope you can forgive me one day. If not for me, then for yourself. Hate is heavy, sis. You've carried it too long."
I dropped the letter. My hands shook. I wasn't crying— was sobbing now. Ugly, messy, loud solos that shook my whole body.

She didn't betray me. Not like I thought.
That night, I stayed at mom's house. Couldn't sleep.
Could barely breathe. Around 3 AM, I got out of bed and went back to her room. I needed to know more. Needed to see beyond the letters.
I found an old phone of hers in a drawer. Miraculously, it still worked. I charged it and went through her photos.
There were dozens of pictures of me. Old childhood ones, ones from high school, even a few she must've secretly taken of me from afar. I had become a ghost in her phone-present, but out of reach.

Then I found the folder titled "Unsent."
Inside were recordings. Voice memos.
The first one was short.
"Hi. It's me. I miss you. I had a dream about us last night.
We were fifteen again, laughing about nothing. I woke up crying."
Another one, longer this time.
"I thought of messaging you today. But I didn't. I'm scared. I keep thinking maybe you really do hate me forever. But I wanted you to know-Thomas reached out to me two years ago. He apologized. Said he kissed me on purpose. That he wanted to break us apart because he thought we were too close. He was jealous. Can you believe that? He got what he wanted."

My mouth went dry. Thomas. That snake. I hadn't heard from him since the week I left. He never even denied it.
Just told me "It happened" and walked away. I never looked back.

I felt sick. Ten years wasted. Ten years hating the wrong person.

@Moonlight_myths, X

GGWP

[828]

Sometimes, the hardest forgiveness is to accept the love we pushed away and allow it to finally set us free..

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