OP 06 February, 2020 - 04:14 AM
A little history, I've been vaping and dipping since 7th grade. Started off dipping Copenhagen Snuff which is basically the strongest dip you can get. I was dipping a can a day by the time I was in 9th grade, that eventually increased to 1.5 cans a day by 11th grade and now I dip 2 cans a day usually copenhagen snuff, Grizzly Fine Cut Natural, or Copenhagen Wintergreen. I've tried to quit in the past, I quit for 5 months somehow, but gave up on that. I have now accepted the fact that I will not quit dip, but I do wish to slow down. I didn't buy a can today at work, and I've noticed I have a thing called irritable bitch syndrome. Usually my dipping schedule is as follows; dip when I wake up, grab food, go to work, eat something real quick put a dip in, take out after break, eat somethign after break, put in a dip, eat something, put in a dip, go on break, take out dip and eat something, and then put a dip in yet again. Basically... the only time I don't have a dip in when I'm eating or drinking something real fast.
As I'm trying to slow down, I'm noticing one thing mainly... Without a constant 8 hours, I become my true self a bitter hateful person, who wants to end a person's a life over the littlest shit. Basically I'm an asshole. I honestly hate relying on nicotine to make myself normal, but it's what I do. Without nicotine my hate for people festers to a point where I will and have acted out on my desires, or pay someone to do my deed [No don't ask on here, that would be stupid for me to admit anything]. Has anyone been in the same I have been, It's literally only 2-2.5 hours in between breaks but it's too much for me to be without nicotine apparently.
As I'm trying to slow down, I'm noticing one thing mainly... Without a constant 8 hours, I become my true self a bitter hateful person, who wants to end a person's a life over the littlest shit. Basically I'm an asshole. I honestly hate relying on nicotine to make myself normal, but it's what I do. Without nicotine my hate for people festers to a point where I will and have acted out on my desires, or pay someone to do my deed [No don't ask on here, that would be stupid for me to admit anything]. Has anyone been in the same I have been, It's literally only 2-2.5 hours in between breaks but it's too much for me to be without nicotine apparently.
Fuck You,
Fuck The World.
Fuck The World.