Step-by-Step Guide: How to Sit on a Chair

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Tools Needed:

• 1 chair
  
• Your body
  
• Basic coordination
  

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Instructions:

1. Locate a Chair
   • Find a chair that looks sturdy and safe. Avoid anything missing a leg, covered in wet paint, or occupied by a cat.
     
2. Approach the Chair
   • Walk toward the chair confidently. Don’t run—you’re not competing in a chair-sitting Olympics.
     
3. Turn Around
   • Once you’re close enough, turn your body so your back faces the chair. This step is critical. Facing the chair while trying to sit rarely ends well.
     
4. Check the Chair
   • Glance behind you to ensure the chair is still there. Sometimes chairs have a sneaky way of moving when you’re not looking.
     
5. Begin the Descent
   • Bend your knees slightly and lower your body. Pro tip: Aim your butt directly at the seat. This is not the time for freestyling.
     
6. Make Contact
   • Once your butt touches the seat, stop descending. If you hear a crunching sound, double-check that you didn’t sit on your phone, snacks, or an unsuspecting squirrel.
     
7. Adjust for Comfort
   • Scoot back until your lower back touches the backrest. If the chair doesn’t have a backrest, just sit like a champ and pretend it’s intentional.
     
8. Celebrate Your Achievement
   • Take a moment to appreciate your hard work. You’ve successfully sat down. Bravo!
     

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