I hate the person I become and I can't seem to find happiness

[189]

I feel like money changed me, like I lost myself, I don't even know who I am anymore, but I hate what I am.
I'm not too sure about the things to write here, it's just to kind of get it out of myself, i dont know.
but the realization that i'm a bad person hurts a lot and i dont know what to do about it, i want to change but i dont know how
i hate the fact that im so self-centered and that i can only care about myself, that i hurt others with my words without even realizing it how it makes them feel
im totally lost and i dont know who i am anymore, if i could kill myself and no one would be emotionally hurt by my actions i believe id do it right away, but that wont solve my problems
that would only create more problems for others that are close to me. I cant seem to care about a thing, its like I don't care about anything and anyone.
I wish I could be "normal", I wish I woudln't have to keep blindly chasing money. I'm extremely jealous of normal people with jobs and normal lives.
I come from a pretty poor family, I never had a job, although money always came to me easily, I always knew how to make them and it never took much effort, i kept chasing more and more until
I completely lost myself and forgot who I am, the only thing that worried me was "oh, i didnt make any money today, something feels wrong, i dont like this".
If I could exchange all my money that I have right now to become a "normal person" who's mind is not filled with just money, i would have gladly make that exchange.
I want to find happiness in my life, im hoping I will one day. I have a girlfriend, we're going to get married soon, after that, life might get a bit simplier.
A simple life would be nice, it would be really nice not pushing myself to do something bigger, my goals, dreams and expectations are way too high i think.
I set my expectations from life way too high and that might be one of the things that are keeping me from being happy, who knows..
i might update this later if life becomes simplier and i find happiness, im hoping i will, i mean i should be able to, right?

[5.505]

Nothing much may have changed in your life except you. You're lost because you haven’t found “Y-O-U.” Subconsciously or not, you are becoming self-aware of the environment in which you lived and now want more from. You're probably questioning yourself “"there must be more to life than this?” And there is. You are entering a phase in your life called “"self-awareness”. Congratulation. You can now discover more about you. Who you are and what makes you unique. It's time for you to reclaim what you want that makes you happy and fulfilled, that does not result in emptiness and nothingness at the end of your day. It's time to evaluate what you want from your life, who you want to keep around you, who you want to spend your time with that brings peace, love, laughter and inspiration to your life. Be true to yourself. Be honest in what you want. When you do this, I can guarantee you, you will find a new purpose and fulfilment in your life. And you will learn a new tool to use when dealing with the same feeling when and if it happens again in your next life cycle. For me this happens about 7–8 years cycle - why? - I don’t know. All I can say is that when this happens, I know there's almost always a lesson to learn, a new experience to stretch and grow. It can be painful at times, but when you get through it, the reward is truly a blessing.

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[189]

Nothing much may have changed in your life except you. You're lost because you haven’t found “Y-O-U.” Subconsciously or not, you are becoming self-aware of the environment in which you lived and now want more from. You're probably questioning yourself “"there must be more to life than this?” And there is. You are entering a phase in your life called “"self-awareness”. Congratulation. You can now discover more about you. Who you are and what makes you unique. It's time for you to reclaim what you want that makes you happy and fulfilled, that does not result in emptiness and nothingness at the end of your day. It's time to evaluate what you want from your life, who you want to keep around you, who you want to spend your time with that brings peace, love, laughter and inspiration to your life. Be true to yourself. Be honest in what you want. When you do this, I can guarantee you, you will find a new purpose and fulfilment in your life. And you will learn a new tool to use when dealing with the same feeling when and if it happens again in your next life cycle. For me this happens about 7–8 years cycle - why? - I don’t know. All I can say is that when this happens, I know there's almost always a lesson to learn, a new experience to stretch and grow. It can be painful at times, but when you get through it, the reward is truly a blessing.

Thank you, I really appreciate this.
I tried to find the right words to say as a reply, but coudlnt find them.
But im sure you are right and i really appreciate it.

[310]

ez, just gimme all ur money and problem fixed  :Kappa:

nvm jk, it's just a period of time, it's actually good that you discovered this before its too late
my biggest advice is stay away from drugs/ alcohol  coz then it'll be sooo bad
u having a gf and soon getting married is cute and awesome

lastly but importantly religion ))
take care!

 

 

Your skin isn't paper, don't cut it
Your face isn't a mask, don't cover it
Your body isn't a book, dont judge it
Your life isn't a movie, don't end it
Your heart isn't a door, don't lock it

You're beautiful <3

Be you...

[1.159]

smoke a j

 

[86]

Ultimately money doesn’t bring happiness but what it could bring is happiness if you use it correctly.

I’m not going to give names so that you won’t think I’m trying to make money for an organization but donate to causes that protect people or help people.

Organizations that keep our community safer or help our community evolve into a more safe and happy environment.

By helping others and keeping others safe, we become more happy because we have a purpose